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Z is for Zeroisation

Zeroization isn't a common tool in therapy; it simply doesn't exist in this context. However, the IT concept, where data is automatically erased to prevent unauthorized access, can be metaphorically compared to the psychological concept of acceptance. The alphabet started with A, and Z serves as a reminder to return to the beginning, especially when everything seems to fall apart.

In this journey to get better, you've encountered various tools, each offering a bit of relief. Sometimes, though, you might have noticed that the initial feelings linger—not because of your efforts or the tools, but as part of life's natural ups and downs. Most of the time, the problems we face aren't the ones causing the pain; it's the narratives we weave around them that do.

A common story is the pursuit of a perfect life—free from discomfort and challenges. People invest a lot of time, energy, and money in chasing this elusive happiness, only to end up feeling what they tried to avoid so desperately. Instead of obsessively solving the problem, it can be helpful to examine the expectations behind it and befriend a realistic approach.

Constant happiness would require a static, unchanging environment, which is not reflective of the ever-changing nature of life. "Negative" emotions have evolutionary functions that contribute to survival, so we need them. The advice given to achieve a happy life expects complete control over things, which ignores life’s unpredictability. Also, assuming one path equals another dismisses the role of privilege, luck, and timing. Importantly, the narrative often creates a sense of inadequacy—something fundamentally wrong with you that needs fixing, which builds up a lot of pressure.

Wanting improvement is natural, seeking help is commendable, but the expectations set by this story are unrealistically high. So, look out for those told by others and set by yourself.

If a career doesn't happen despite following every step, it's not entirely your fault; perhaps you missed the right time. If your healing journey feels like a rollercoaster ride, it's because health is complex and needs a holistic approach that contains trials and errors. There is no one single straight way.

We can blame and shame ourselves and others for our shortcomings, but we can also learn from it. We can approach it with curiosity instead of judgment. Instead of victimizing, we can take responsibility, little by little, as best as we can, to embrace the imperfections and uncertainties that make life uniquely ours.

Do you want to learn more about zeroisation?

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Z is for Zeroization
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